You’ve
finally done it. After years of hard work, you’ve reached the pinnacle
of success in your company, and you’ve finally got the big salary and
all the perks that go along with it. Sure, you have more responsibility
and more pressure, but that goes with the territory. You are riding
high. So why is your relationship foundering?
1. There’s an imbalance of power.
When one partner is more successful than the other, it’s bound to put
a strain on the relationship. The successful partner has more money,
more recognition, more influence, and more satisfaction. The financial
burden may be falling mostly on the successful partner, so the other
partner doesn’t feel like he or she is contributing much in that regard.
Even though he’s making an effort to treat you as an equal, you often
feel out of the loop and like an insignificant other. He talks about his
work, his colleagues, and “the business,” while you feel at a loss to
compete. Your lack of self-respect for what you contribute can be lethal
to your relationship.
2. Ego gets in the way.
She’s a big shot at work, and she knows it. Deals revolve around her
expertise, and everyone looks to her for direction. She calls the shots,
and her coworkers line up behind her. Unfortunately, while
relationships are about compromise, she’s used to getting her way,
without question. Sometimes you feel more like her personal assistant
than an equal partner, and it’s starting to take its toll. If she
doesn’t get off her high horse, there’s little hope that your
relationship will make it in the long term.
3. You don’t have any time.
You work long hours and feel that putting in a weekend now and then
is necessary. When you’re not at work, you’re always available by cell
phone, and it seems that time with your partner is constantly
interrupted by matters that you feel can’t wait. You know that people at
the office rely on your input, and you feel pressure to be there when
needed. You are an indispensible piece of the puzzle at work, but your
relationship is slipping farther and farther down your list of
priorities. No wonder your partner’s getting fed up.
4. Your priorities shift.
You used to look forward to weekends, when you and your partner would
hang out with friends, enjoying a casual night out or watching a
football game together. Along with your new success, however, has come a
list of new priorities. Playing golf with potential clients, going for
after-work drinks with colleagues, and hobnobbing with industry insiders
suddenly seem much more important than those old friends and
recreational pursuits. Your focus is on your continued advancement, and
maintaining a stable relationship seems to require too much effort and
time that you don’t have. Your bond with your significant other is in
big trouble.
5. Your options change.
No one paid too much attention to you while you were climbing the
ladder of success, but now that you’re a CEO, members of the opposite
sex find you irresistibly interesting and attractive. You find that you
have more in common with colleagues than with your partner, who seems
less desirable than younger or more business-savvy connections who
openly admire your expertise and continuing success. You are in la-la
land and are completely taken with your new options, so you aren’t sure
that your relationship is worth saving. In your opinion, it’s time for
your partner to shape up or ship out.
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